A few months have gone by since my last Journal entry for the totem paintings at the end of October. A few things were at play.
Being the artist, the quest of survival on the home front is always a going concern, along with the ongoing self-judgement about the chosen path and uphill battle of energizing interest in the work. It is a daunting task, and can be brutal to one's moral and self-assessment. Some times are worse then others; sort of like a wave that comes upon you at intervals.
The totem series is especially so in that, even though some question where the artist is in my work (seemingly devoid of interpretation and personal messaging), it remains a passion and a love. There are so many totems that I hope to experience in person, and photograph from my perspective; angle and lighting being especially important. There are so many that I would dearly love to capture close-up facets, within the time capsules of their lives. But the hurdle at this time is getting past all the questioning and re-rediscovering my original passion with the series. It wasn't about a commercial interest, but it gets challenged when struggling to make ends meet. The pressure to produce naturally railroads the process and as an artist, I always need to find my way back to allowing myself to respond to the totems and give them the time they require.
I do have those two canvas which are near completion, but I wasn't in the right head space in November. I didn't want to force them.
And then, another icon project came up in early November. It turned out that the project came from two different sources but for the same prototype. It was obviously time. Each icon would be of Rose Prince, better known as Rose Of The Carrier. It is now January 18th and I'm in the process of painting after a month and a half of research, and numerous design directions. Once I get these two icons completed, I will have to get right back to the two totems ASAP as the pressures of the home budget always remain.
It was encouraging to read the few positive comments on Facebook after JD Stevenson Gallery's posting about the recent sale of 'Blue Totems'. But as with my iconography after so many years, I always seem to be the one still to be discovered for the most part. It would be so nice to hear from those who have commissioned or purchased my work. Otherwise, an artist works alone in the studio without that important feedback in moving forward.
Heart-felt regards to all.